Wow, I’m so not sorry that Dan Bacon used to be hopeless with women. I’m not sorry for picking apart his article about “How to Talk to a Woman Who is Wearing Headphones“. I am sorry [not sorry?] for any woman who has fallen for his bullshit.
Listen, if there’s some sort of emergency, I get it, make me take my headphones off. But other than that? The article insisting that there is a way to get a girl wearing headphones to talk to you is obnoxious.
I don’t care why a girl has headphones on. I don’t care if she’s walking, or jogging, or riding public transportation. No matter what, don’t force her to interact with you. And that’s what this article is about – forcing a woman who is doing her own thing to interact with you. So in regards to talking to a woman who is wearing headphones…
- Don’t stand in front of her. That’s threatening.
- Smiling is fine, but her smiling back doesn’t mean that she owes you anything.
- Don’t wave your hand at her like she’s less than a person for not paying attention to you.
- Don’t order her to take off her headphones. Oh sure, you can act like it’s a request, but it’s not. Just don’t do it.
- You won’t have to “acknowledge the awkwardness” if you don’t cause it.
Compliments and confidence don’t mean anything if you’ve ripped a woman out of her safe zone. Again, whether she’s walking, jogging, using public transportation, or something else, you’re bothering her. Leave her alone. Don’t assume that she will be “flattered by your compliment and impressed by your confidence”. Most likely she wants you to leave her alone. If she didn’t she probably wouldn’t be wearing headphones in the first place.
And hey, if she doesn’t want to be left alone? Teasing her by saying that you have somewhere to go, after interrupting her in the first place, is probably the worst idea ever.
As for the “mistakes” guys make when approaching a woman with headphones?
- Approaching in a nervous manner should be the way you approach, because any decent guy will recognize that they are very likely bothering the woman.
- ALLOWING HER TO IGNORE YOU IS A MISTAKE? That isn’t a MISTAKE, that is her RIGHT. Whether she’s wearing headphones or not. I can’t even imagine how anyone could rectify this.
- ALLOWING HER to take control of the interaction??? “No matter how confident or challenging a woman might behave, she still dreams of meeting a guy who is more confident than her.” I’m not speaking for every woman who exists, but I am speaking for a lot of them – we don’t want someone more CONFIDENT than we are. We want someone who is our EQUAL. This isn’t the 1950s. Or before. Get over yourselves.
- Oh wait, you shouldn’t stick to polite conversation? I mean hey, yeah, I agree that you shouldn’t ask too many personal questions and all, but you wouldn’t really be in this position if you hadn’t BOTHERED THE GIRL WEARING HEADPHONES IN THE FIRST PLACE!
- Flirt with people who [don’t] want to be flirted with. Again, perhaps not all girls who are wearing headphones want to be left alone…but honestly, the fact that you are assuming these woman are okay with being bothered in the first place is a problem in and of itself. Attempting to flirt with them is just beyond.
As for the idea that “Most women are open to being approached”?
While many women don’t usually go around approaching men, there are many different reasons for this, and none of them are anyone’s business but their own. I’m not saying don’t ever approach a woman, but approaching a woman wearing HEADPHONES? And following the steps listed in this article? Disgusting. Never assume that “Most single women wait and hope to be approached by a guy so that they actually have a chance to meet a confident alpha male.”
We are our own people, and for fuck’s sake, if we’re wearing headphones, don’t push it.